“Imagine a gender equal world. A world free of bias, stereotypes, and discrimination. A world that's diverse, equitable, and inclusive. A world where difference is valued and celebrated. Together we can forge women's equality. Collectively we can all #EmbraceEquity.” So said this year’s International Women’s Day theme. A sentiment I’m sure we can all get behind.

The campaign this year was supported by what I can only describe as toe-curling images of women hugging themselves. Is that really what we need? A hug to make it all better? Or do we actually need equal pay for equal work? Protection from violence? Education? Freedom of movement? Access to the modern digital age? Just a few starters for 10.

But as I discovered at this year’s UN Commision on the Status of Women, only 14 out of 193 countries have equality for women guaranteed by law. 14. Out of 193. It took a moment to sink in for me. But before it could, I was hit with another shocking statistic. That despite setting the Sustainable Development Goal for “Achieving gender equality and empowering all women and girls by 2030,” current expectation is that it will actually take us 238 years to achieve equality. How can we possibly be so far behind? Why do we in fact seem to be reversing the trend with education laws in Afghanistan, reproductive rights threatened in the US and our very own police force here in the UK perpetuating violence against women and girls?

It dawned on me when I heard Robert Biedron, chair of the Women’s Rights and Gender Equality Committee remark about the lack of men in the room at the UNCSW. Whilst there were men on the panel, all working hard in their respective fields to support gender equality, he noted that there were very few in the audience. I reflected on this as I attended my own IWD events that week and could count on one hand the men in the room. Where are they? “We all pay the price for gender inequality,” as Robert so eloquently put it, so where are all the men?

Because the truth is, despite being told that as women we can “have it all,” we can’t. We simply cannot compete in a world that is fundamentally rigged against us because it operates in a patriarchy. And the only way that we have even half a chance of achieving equality, is by men rolling up their sleeves and getting involved.

I have been lucky enough to participate in Bloom’s programme The Exchange, for the last two years. The programme aims to open up a “refreshingly honest dialogue between genders…and work together to make our industry more equal for all.” Both years I have been matched with brilliant men who have been very supportive of the difficulties faced by women. Both were well aware of these difficulties via interactions with colleagues or family members, and set good intentions to make sure that they could positively impact the working experience of the women in their sphere.

It has made me feel much more positive about our industry as a whole, but I can’t help feeling that any change in this area is so incremental and completely subjective. That positivity is then tempered by stories of female friends and colleagues who are overlooked for promotion or who, having worked hard to achieve pay equity, discover that a male peer is on an additional bonus scheme that she wasn’t even aware existed. Because the reality is, it didn’t exist for her.

It’s 10 years since Sheryl Sandberg famously urged women to ‘lean in.’ 10 years where we’ve made some gains by taking up more space, being bolder, and going after those positions of power. Women are more visible in leadership positions which is great to see. But if we really want to shift the needle, if we really want equity, then it’s time for men to start leaning in.

Gender equality needs to be at the top of everyone’s priority list. Our husbands, brothers, managers and colleagues need to step up, be counted and be accountable too. From supporting efforts to educate women and girls all over the world, to taking part in programmes like The Exchange to recommending a female colleague to succeed you. Because we all pay the price for gender inequality. And we can all play a part in making the world equitable for all.