Caught between the dichotomy of appearing strong while feeling completely drained it’s time to tell the truth about the maternal mental health crisis
With the cost of living crisis and intensifying job competition, depression and anxiety are at an all time high. This has forced brands and agencies to seriously consider mental health policies and programmes. Many of us in the industry do, in fact, champion a better, more compassionate workplace. However, just this year, calls to Nabs’ advice line spiked by 35% year-on-year, with the top reason being emotional support (37%). Are we just talking the talk, or are we actually walking the walk?
In my experience as a mother returning to work, I found it incredibly challenging to be open about my mental health challenges. I stepped back into the workplace after this life-altering event and sat back down at the same desk surrounded by the same colleagues, the same routine small talk, and in that moment I realised I had undergone a complete and radical change.
Everything about me was different, from the way I viewed my body to my sense of identity and purpose at work, and for some reason unbeknownst to me I was crying almost every day. I had no idea at the time I was suffering from postnatal depression. So, for that first year back at work the only way I knew how to survive was to pretend to be the same person I was before. Much later I realised this ‘pretending’ was detrimental to my mental health.
As a woman in 2023, we’re encouraged to speak our truth, be authentic, and own the room. However, when I returned back to work as a new mother I struggled to muster up the strength, let alone articulate my thoughts properly.
Meagan Bickerstaff, Head of Growth at History Hit
Last week, I went to an event for mental health awareness which was called, ‘It's Okay to Not Be Okay. A starting point made me think, why do we even still feel the need to say this. It should be obvious.
Of course, it is ok to be a human being. To recognise that a certain experience or trauma has caused you to feel depressed and anxious. That is a completely reasonable feeling to have. However, it seems when we get into the nitty gritty of work day-to-day, we are not given full permission to feel this is acceptable. Instead, we tend to glorify hard work, long hours, and the notion of having ‘gravitas’. A concept which, while meant to be positive, can be quite intimidating.
As a woman in 2023, we’re encouraged to speak our truth, be authentic, and own the room. However, when I returned back to work as a new mother I struggled to muster up the strength, let alone articulate my thoughts properly. I was sleeping three or four hours per night and crying in the bathroom stall almost every day. Bringing my authentic self to work and owning the room simply wasn’t possible. I wasn’t even sure who my 'authentic self’ actually was.
For our mental wellbeing, it’s vital to make kindness a part of our daily work routines to ultimately foster a work environment where everyone feels valued and appreciated.
Meagan Bickerstaff, Head of Growth at History Hit
Through a parenting community I built online (out of the pure need to connect) and colleagues at work, I discovered that a significant number of women were silently suffering. Shockingly, one in four women experience mental health problems during pregnancy or during the 24 months after giving birth, according to the Mental Health Foundation. In my case, my struggles lasted longer than 24 months.
In the case of the other mothers in the community and at work, I learned many were holding back. Caught between the dichotomy of appearing strong while feeling completely drained, these women were silently struggling with mental health problems.
The majority of them said the problem is further exacerbated by the fact that mothers can no longer ‘appear’ as committed as everyone else. This unfortunately still carries a negative connotation in our industry. We sign off early, we take breaks to breast pump, organise the drop off and pick up at nursery and school, arrange playdates, homework, football practice, and the list goes on.
This causes a communication breakdown about mental health challenges. The words seem to get completely lost in translation, or never even spoken at all. We are silently labelled a slacker, or worse written off for not caring about our job. Or a well-intentioned manager offers less and less work so the mother's self-worth continues to plummet, and she continues to stay silent.
It comes as no surprise to note that women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. This loss of connection and judgement at work prevents healing from anxiety and depression, or worse, can be the reason why it started in the first place.
Cultivating compassion and creating a supportive work environment establishes a strong community which creates a safe space to open up.
Meagan Bickerstaff, Head of Growth at History Hit
Sometimes instead of fostering community, our workplaces create a sense of competition. People feel the need to push each other down to get ahead, this behaviour is praised, and the next generation learns this behaviour is acceptable, and the cycle continues. This encourages people to focus on what is good for ‘me,’ and not prioritise the collective ‘we.’
For our mental wellbeing, it is vital to make kindness a part of our daily work routines to ultimately foster a work environment where everyone feels valued and appreciated. When we lead with generosity and connection we create a safe space for employees to be open. We are human after all.
For instance, people with depression are recommended group therapy, counselling or a combination of both, according to The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE).
In the workplace, research shows cultivating a robust workplace community brings numerous benefits, such as attracting and retaining talent, fostering a sense of belonging, boosting morale, and reducing stress.
Implementing practical strategies to create a community could be, for example, establishing a support network for mental wellbeing at work. The company I am currently working for has successfully initiated a mental health and wellbeing group. This platform allows us to openly exchange stories, express our thoughts, and forge meaningful connections with each other. Moreover, we meet on a monthly basis, during which an individual from within the company shares their personal wellbeing practices and stories. We connect and learn from each other which I’ve seen has multiple benefits for ourselves and the company.
By definition, a supportive leader is someone who is willing to focus on identifying what changes and support is required to ensure the well-being of the team and, in turn, deliver a high standard of performance by alleviating any unnecessary obstacles.
At the beginning of the year when my father passed away I fell back into negative thought patterns. It was only when my manager could see in my droopy eyes and sluggish movements I was not coping. He asked whether I needed a break and suggested counselling sessions that were available for free through work.
Thankfully, I had a manager who was kind and offered support in an empathetic way and a workplace that actively finances mental wellbeing services. I would not be where I am today. Therapy helped me be more self aware of emotional triggers and why I feel them, and how to reduce the overwhelm so I don't spiral. In the months following the performance of my team skyrocketed. This insight was extremely helpful and I would highly recommend therapy or group therapy to anyone who needs support.
Creating a supportive environment, by its nature provides a mentoring approach for employees to benefit from, which in turn benefits the leader and so the business.
Simply telling people to be kind or listing ‘kindness’ as a value on the company website is not enough. In a hybrid workplace, kindness could be a message or email to a colleague or someone you manage, or saying “well done” after a meeting. This goes a long way in boosting their self-worth and happiness. Moreover, encouraging kindness has genuine business benefits. Being recognised at work helps reduce employee burnout and absenteeism, according to a Gallup survey.
When we give compliments it can actually make us happier than receiving them. This strengthens social connection by focusing on the other person, according to a Harvard Business Review study. To promote this practice, some organisations have introduced a ‘kindness round’ where team members can recognize each other’s work in a dedicated meeting.
Companies like Google have implemented small pot peer bonuses, allowing employees to show appreciation with a small amount of money. These small acts of kindness have a significant impact and show that recognition isn’t always about receiving a shiny award.
Lastly, leaders need to lead by example. Even simple acts like giving a compliment to a team member during an all-company meeting can inspire others to follow suit and create a culture of kindness within teams. This leads to a more supportive environment overall and greater safe spaces to enable honest conversations.
In summary, to support mental wellbeing practically we need:
If you're looking for ways to navigate your mental wellbeing, sign up to Slow Being and get one new idea every Friday.
Meagan leads the growth marketing team for History Hit, a history content and media network. She has a wide range of experience in marketing and growth, from leading the digital and innovation strategies at global media agencies with clients such as Mercedes, Mastercard, Marc Jacobs, Rimmel to executing multi-million pound campaigns at Sky to growing early stage start-ups and scale ups like Taster and History Hit. Meagan grew a community that champions awareness of maternal mental health. She is a mentor for Bloom and a WACL Future Leaders Award winner 2019, and part of FUTURES network. She is an MA Creative Writing candidate at Kingston University. Her writing has appeared in Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, and Bloom UK. You can find her on Instagram @megandtheboys or Twitter @itsameg_. If you're looking for ways to navigate your mental wellbeing, subscribe to Medicine: one new idea sent every Friday to support mental wellbeing.
Looks like you need to create a Creativebrief account to perform this action.
Create account Sign inLooks like you need to create a Creativebrief account to perform this action.
Create account Sign in
