Thought Leadership

How masculinity remains relevant in the workplace

Hobbs Consultancy and Token Man’s Masculinity in the Workplace event outlines the need for vulnerability in leadership

Georgie Moreton

Assistant Editor, BITE

Share


‘How can we create change without causing fear of irrelevance?’ This was the question that Roxanne Hobbs, Founder of the Hobbs Consultancy, posed at Hobbs Consultancy and Token Man’s Masculinity in the Workplace event held at Havas KX.  In a world where the pace of change is so rapid and where the pandemic has presented a unique opportunity to reshape the future of the workplace for the better, relevance is at the top of the business agenda.

“A common reaction to shame is armouring up but we need authenticity and people to bring their full selves to work,” says Hobbs. Where diversity and inclusion initiatives now sit firmly at the top of the agenda, it is essential that people feel included to ensure progress which impacts all. 

Everyday sexism

Getting men immersed and involved in diversity and inclusion initiatives is imperative to creating change. A keynote session from Laura Bates, Founder of Everyday Sexism Project, reinforced the fact that sexism is not just a women’s issue.

Often women find themselves at the sharp end of sexism. “Just one in three MPs are women and one woman is killed by a man every three days,'' said Bates. She continued: “These are not women’s issues at men’s expense.” In fact, “male suicide rates on average are 3 to to 5 times higher than female and 63% of men think their arms or chests arent muscley enough.” 

“People hijack progress positioning progress for women as a threat to men’” says Bates, yet change can have a positive impact on everyone. For each negative stereotype about women that exists there is an equally damaging opposite stereotype that impacts men. For example, where women are told they are overly emotional, men are told that boys don’t cry. “Gender stereotypes don't exist in a vacuum, they are mirrored,” she explained.

Men are central to combatting issues of sexism. For so long, sexism that leads to violent attacks on women, victims are thrust into the spotlight and asked ‘what could you have done to better protect yourself?’ While the perpetrators are othered, labelled as ‘beasts’ or ‘sex scandal’s’. Labels which, according to Bates suggest “there’s no correlation between these men and our communities”. But to do so is damaging to the men in our society that know how to behave without threatening women.

Where the media has stoked the fires of sexism a narrative that the campaign to prevent violence against women has become a “witch hunt gone mad” is said to have led to the “stoking of irrational fear that makes men not want to hold one-to-one meetings with women” adds Bates.
This need not be the case. “People make the conversion about taking away fun, ‘banter’ but the majority of men know the distinction and it is a disservice to them to suggest they don’t.” stresses Bates.

Change is in everybody’s interest.

Laura Bates, Founder of Everyday Sexism Project

Allyship in action

Bates points to the example of Andy Murray correcting a journalist that said he was the ‘first person to win two tennis gold medals’. ‘First male player’ Murray says politely but firmly, pushing the journalist to acknowledge the achievements of his female peers without creating conflict. This is a perfect demonstration of allyship in action.

Men hold a unique position and can carry out change where often women cannot, breaking down stereotypes by shifting culture between peers. “Change is in everybody’s interest,” explained Bates.

Another example Bates shared was of a junior man in the workplace who realised that a woman his equal was getting pushed into more secretarial work like being asked to make tea and take notes. Frustrated on her behalf he began to offer to make the teas too, or take the notes. “Changing stereotypes and making a choice to be actively involved,” she explains.

Everyone has an opportunity to get involved. By learning about the wider issues and being an active bystander, talking to younger men and speaking up. “In helping shift stereotypes and making a choice to be actively involved, men can be relevant and involved in the conversation where they belong” concluded Bates.

Inclusive leadership

To contextualise this in the workplace, Daniele Fiandaca, Co-founder, Token Man presented findings of the latest Masculinity in the Workplace study that asked three key questions: ‘How inclusive is your workplace? What traits are rewarded? How engaged are men in DEI?’

Unsurprisingly, the findings showed that “There’s still lots to be done, an ongoing inclusive leadership gap and the need to do more to engage men in allyship” , said Fiandaca.

Evidence for this can be found in the contrast between leadership traits that people find to be the most rewarded and those that people think should be rewarded. The first list includes ‘confidence’ ,'results-focused’ and ‘ambitious’, where the latter sees ‘empathetic’, ‘collaborative’ and ‘kind’ amongst others, demonstrating that ongoing leadership gap. “Traditionally masculine skills are still seen to be the most valuable although new skills are emerging like ‘kind’,” added Fiandaca.

Other findings outlined the impact of diversity and inclusion initiatives and found that a disheartening 35% of respondents feel less valued because of diversity initiatives versus 37% that feel more. 41% felt they will be looked over for promotion due to diversity targets, demonstrating the stark need to bring more men into DEI. 

Vulnerability was raised as a polarising word, while 43% said they were brought up to believe vulnerability is a weakness, 49% saw it as courage and 56% believe it to be a key leadership skill. A keynote session from Christopher Veal of the Vulnerable Man podcast outlined the importance of vulnerability and its ability to make significant change.

Strength in vulnerability 

Veal candidly shared his own journey of vulnerability which led him to “create connection” and “facilitate real change” in his own life. Despite growing up surrounded by the narrow view of masculinity that the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were poster boys for, the former marine found himself embracing vulnerability ahead of the birth of his daughter. Upon asking his company for paternity leave to balance care responsibilities, Veal was met with comments from other men such as “Why do you need maternity leave? That’s women's work” he explained. “I had to go first and be willing to ask for help, stand up against the stereotype.” 

Yet Veal is careful not to blame fellow men for the backlash to his request and instead looks to generations worth of societal conditioning as the reason for the response. “I don’t hold it to them, they are a product of their environment,” he says. But he urges others to reject such stereotypes and be willing to be open and learn. 

Veal champions the idea of an ‘oops and ouch method’ accepting that in the pursuit to do better there will be times when people do get things wrong. Maintaining a learning mindset, being open to connection and getting comfortable with vulnerability means that mistakes are just misplaced footsteps on the journey toward a positive goal.