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Voices

Adolescence shows us we must do better

Lori Meakin, Executive Committee Member at WACL and Founder of The Others & Me, on why we must stop choosing to turn away from online misogyny.

Lori Meakin

Founder of The Others & Me, author of No More Menemies The Others & Me

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“I’m sorry son. I should have done better.”

As the 24 million+ people who’ve already binged Adolescence know, those are the final words spoken by Steven Graham’s character Eddie.

And they’re words that all of us in this industry ought to be repeating too.

Because for too long, we’ve been doing the next generations of men and boys a huge disservice. And we have to step up and do better.

Our industry needs to lean in.

We've got to stop choosing not to know. Stop turning away, asserting that the dangers of the manosphere are over-exaggerated, or refusing to engage because “not all men”.

And we've got to stop vilifying men and boys for seeking a sense of pride and a path to progress in today’s world. Stop blaming and shaming them for being exploited and radicalised by toxic influencers and algorithms that push suspicion, hate and division.

Neither of those positions helps solve the problem.

Nor, I’m afraid, does the palpable, aching despair that many parents are feeling right now, knowing that the growing gender war is wreaking untold damage on boys and men as well as women and girls.

That feeling, of course, is understandable. But despair is not enough. We need action, from each and every one of us.

We've got to stop choosing not to know.

Lori Meakin, Executive Committee Member at WACL and Founder of The Others & Me

Because we as an industry have the expertise to create change.

But it’s an expertise we’re currently squandering.

We’re expert marketers. Yet we’re being outmaneuvered by those selling fear and lies and misogyny and a version of masculinity that’s damaging all young minds and bodies, whatever their gender.

We’re expert storytellers. Yet still we’re busy writing stories where gender stereotypes thrive unchallenged because precious few creative departments truly know how to think about gender and power, or beyond the traditional male gaze. Too often, if they think about gender at all, they tend to see it as a women’s issue, or a list of things you can’t say or do any more.

We’re experts at building desire and aspiration. Yet we’re still failing to present truly aspirational images of men with more feminine-coded attributes and interests. Instead of valuing those qualities that will set boys up to be better leaders and partners, we see them as less cool, effeminate, a bit emasculating even. Like Eddie, too often we’re ‘stood on the side of the pitch while all the other dads laugh at him.’ And refusing to look.

We need to create change. If not us, then who?

Who’s going to use their marketing and storytelling expertise to build something more positive for men and boys to aspire to?

Who’s going to create better role models and a vision of what “being a man” can mean that doesn't damage all of us?

Who’s going to stop letting the bad guys fill the void?

When a devastated Eddie asks “Should we have done more though?” Manda quietly replies “I think it’d be good if, maybe, we accepted that maybe we should’ve done.”

I think so too.

And for us, it’s not yet too late.

To get started on taking action, see the WACL Playbook for how to create a new language of leadership, and how to create better gender representation, in partnership with Unstereotype Alliance.

Guest Author

Lori Meakin

Founder of The Others & Me, author of No More Menemies The Others & Me

About

After many years of working with women and others who are marginalised because of their gender or sexual orientation, Lori increasingly found herself wondering why more men aren’t getting involved in creating the change that’s proven to benefit all of us. So she set about working to answer that question, using the research, understanding and behaviour-change expertise she’s developed over decades in branding, advertising and the media. The Others & Me is founded on this deep and objective, evidence-led understanding of the real issues around gender, as well as the insights and methodology Lori refined by talking to all kinds of men from undergrads to grandads about how it feels to be a man in a world where people are increasingly talking about gender equality.