“I’m a manager, but I feel completely out of my depth emotionally.”

This is something we hear all the time at NABS. You are not alone! There’s an expectation on managers to have all the answers, hide their own stress and pressures and to have the ability to absorb and alleviate their teams’ worries, more often than not with no training or support. It’s a heavy emotional load to carry.

Through our one-to-one coaching, Managers’ Mindsets workshops and the Advice Line, we know that managers are feeling isolated, unsupported and worried if they are giving their teams enough support and time while carrying a constant guilt for struggling to keep their heads above water.

We need to lift you up and to provide you with the tools to help you thrive, grow and lead with confidence – with the knowledge that self-care and boundaries are a top priority.

Boundaries

It can feel tricky to give yourself permission to set boundaries. You want to have your door open to be accessible – “always on”. You worry that saying no makes you look unapproachable, you take on extra work to ease the team's load while struggling to stay on top of your own, and see behaviours modelled by senior leadership that do not support boundary-setting.

Let’s reframe:

• Instead of thinking of it as saying no – it’s a pause so you can give full attention e.g. “I’ve got my head down in a pitch right now, can we catch up later today or tomorrow morning?”
• Model the way – block time in your calendar for focus time, add your start and finish times, and encourage your team to log off on time.
• Self-care improves team-care – prioritising time for yourself, to recharge and reset, ensures you can fully show up for your team and also encourages them to do the same.

Communication

You work in an industry built on communication, but when it comes to sharing a bit of ourselves or admitting we don’t know something – it can feel sticky and uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable.

Let’s reset:

• Team sharing - openly share what helps to keep you motivated, what the signs are when you aren’t coping and ask your team to share back their motivators and pressure points.
• Acknowledge stressors – if a piece of work feels heavy on a team member, acknowledge that it feels tough and talk about what support they need to make it manageable.
• Honesty – it’s ok to not have all the answers. There’s a real power in being transparent: “I’m actually not sure, but I’ll ask XX or I’ll find out and come back to you.” Sharing this vulnerability builds trust and shows your team that it’s ok to admit when they don’t know something, rather than hiding it.

Access support

Asking for support is something to be celebrated. Empower your team to seek out help and be honest when they have struggles. Accessing support can not only form an important part of self-care but it’s also a huge part of your development. Sign post your team to the following:

• Coaching – one-to-one or group sessions help you to focus on your development, find clarity, gain confidence, identify skills to develop and create goals to support your path
• Mentoring – accessing advice and a fresh perspective from someone experienced who understands the pressures felt by a manager. Try Bloom, Lollipop, MEFA, NABS Speed Mentoring, Outvertising and WACL and tap up your network.
• Training – build your skills to grow as a manager and leader. You could boost your coaching skills, learn how to navigate challenging conversations, develop skills to manage team pressure or grow as a truly inclusive leader. Book and share NABS workshops.
• Advice – NABS’ Advice Line offers free confidential support to everybody in our industry. You can talk to a friendly, non-judgemental advisor about anything from employment matters to mental health to financial concerns and everything in-between.

As managers, it’s so easy to pour all of your energy into supporting others that you forget to look after yourself. But healthy leadership starts with healthy boundaries, open and honest communication and knowing when to reach out for support. By setting limits with kindness, sharing with vulnerability, and leaning on resources like coaching, mentoring, training or the NABS Advice Lines, you’re not only protecting your own wellbeing - you’re also modelling balance and resilience for your team.

Building emotional resilience isn’t about never feeling stressed. It’s about having the tools, habits and support systems to bounce back. Avoiding burnout means giving yourself permission to pause, recharge and ask for help when you need it. And most importantly, it’s about taking care of yourselves and each other - because when leaders thrive, teams do too.

If you need a safe, confidential space to talk things through, NABS is always in your corner.